How I come to know Jesus - by Xin Fang August 13, 2007
Posted by Han in : Testimony , trackbackWhen I was a primary 6 student, my neighbours invited me to go to their church for some activities. That was the first time I went to a church and somehow I was surprised at the invitation because I was not a Christian.
My parents actually allowed me to go to church at that time because they thought it was fine to let me have fellowship with my friends, but they were not happy when I always go to church. I didn’t ask why, but just obeyed them, so I only went to my friend’s church when there were any special events.
I still remembered the first time when I went to church, the pastor’s wife hugged me and welcomed me. I was surprised to see that the sisters will hug each other and it was the same with the brothers. The church members gave me an impression that they were one big family, even though they were not relatives. Yes, in the church I felt they were all very friendly, so I was quite comfortable in the midst although I was not a Christian.
Every year the church will organize a church camp and I was actually invited to join their camp as well. The camp was held at Kukup. Well, that was the first time I left my family and stayed with my friends at another place so I was quite excited about it.
When the day came and we were going to Kukup, we gathered first at the church. That morning before we set off, the pastor gave a long speech to us. I was not paying attention at the pastor’s message because I just couldn’t wait to go for the trip. Finally, the pastor ended his speech. (Ya, I was thinking ‘finally’ at that time too.) Before he came down from the stage, he said: “God loves EVERYONE of you.”
At that point of time, the word struck my heart and my mind kept repeating the sentence that the pastor said. And suddenly my tears just came down. I was so shocked at that moment because I wondered why I cried. So secretly I just wiped away my tears before anyone found that I was crying. But the more I wiped, the tears came faster than before. And finally I can’t control my tears anymore.
Of course, many of them then saw me crying. So the pastor asked me to go to the front and he prayed for me. He was praying in tongues so I didn’t know what he was praying about. But I just felt peace in my heart and I didn’t tried to stop my tears anymore, I just let my tears fell when the pastor prayed for me.
After that, I went back to my seat and continue to cry. (Don’t know why the tears just can’t stop) A sister of the church approached and asked me whether I wanted to become a Christian. At that time I suddenly ‘awaken’ and rejected her. Because I was a Buddhist and my parents too, so before I got permission from them, I couldn’t decide anything myself.
Also I really couldn’t imagine what would the reaction of my parents if I told them that I wanted to be a Christian, so I just turned down the sister. After the camp, I was busy in my studies because I was a Form 1 student then, and I had a lot of new things to learn and adapt towards a new environment, so I didn’t went to church with my neighbour anymore, even though I was invited.
But God is good; He didn’t give up on me. When I was in Form 3, He approached me again.
In Form 3, a few new students moved to our class. Because the students were in other classes before that, I was not familiar with them. Somehow one of them came to our group and sat with us because there were no other seats already. She is Katherine, who later brought me to the church where we are serving now. We got along well and became quite close within a short time.
We always chit chat together and in one of our conversations I found that she is a Christian. When I knew that, I felt so surprised because majority of my friends are Buddhist. I started to ask her about her church and how a Christian’s life was like. I was interested in what she told me and I actually came to know that her church could borrow books to others, like a library. So I just ask her to get me some books to read so that I could understand Christianity more.
And I didn’t know that the books would actually change my life.
I was interested in the books because the content in it sounds meaningful. At first I was lying down comfortably at my bed while reading the books. But when coming to the last few chapters which were talking about salvation, I cried while reading it. I felt so shocked because someone died for me! And the one who died for me was not just a man, He is God! His name is Jesus.
He loves the people so much that He was willing to die for them. He died for me too because He loves me! I just could not imagine how painful it was when He was on the cross and yet, He was willing to endure it for His people, for me. I was touched by His love and immediately I knelt down and followed the prayer at the end of the book.
I didn’t tell Katherine anything about this when I returned the books to her. Although I’d like to start attending church at that time, I didn’t tell anybody about this because I knew my parents surely will object. And PMR was around the corner at that time, so I just concentrated on preparing my examination and forgot everything about it.
When PMR was over and I was enjoying my holiday, I remembered the books that touched me. I’d like to attend church and know more about God. So I planned to attend my neighbour’s church because it is near to our house and I used to go to that church. But every time when I was thinking of telling them that I will attend their church, there was like an obstacle forbidding me to do so.
I would think of how I was going to tell my parents about it, what if they did not allow, what would be their reaction so on and so forth. Many problems will occur every time I was planning to go to church. Every time! So I just compromised with that thought because I was not daring enough to face my parent’s reaction.
One Sunday morning, I heard my neighbour started their car. Of course, they were going to church. I felt so dejected because I wanted to go with them but I couldn’t. So I just prayed to God, asked Him to open a way for me and put me at a church so I can learn more about Him. Again, I forgot everything while busy preparing to start my Form 4 life.
I want to give thanks to God because He indeed heard my prayers and answered it.
When I was in Form 4, Katherine invited me to go to her church because there was a BBQ and birthday party for those youths whose birthdays were on March to May. (If I’m not wrong, can’t remember already) Katherine told me that it was the first time her church held a youth meeting so she was inviting her friends to join it. Somehow I was persuaded and promised her to go although I haven’t sought my parents’ permission.
I didn’t tell my parents that I was going to a church, I just told them that I was going to a party and of course, they allowed me to go. I admit it was my fault for telling lies because at that time I still do not dare to tell them that “I wanted to go to church.”
After the youth meeting, Katherine’s sister-in-law, started to invite me to attend their church on Sunday. And I told myself I mustn’t lie anymore, that it was impossible for me to lie every time when I wanted to go to church. So I prayed before I asked permission from my dad. I was so nervous and scared because although I knew my dad doted on me, sometimes he can be very fierce also.
With my heart in my throat I told my dad, “Will you allow me to go to my friend’s church this Sunday?” When my dad heard this, he looked at me for a while. I thought he was going to scold me. But surprisingly he nodded his head! I was so excited and started to come to know the Christian teaching.
When the second time I went to church on Sunday, her sister-in-law told me that she had a touch and she needed to talk to me. Suddenly I felt my heart became very heavy without a reason and I followed her to a room. In the room, she asked me: “Do you want to attend church regularly?” When I heard this, I immediately thought of how I was going to tell my parents especially my dad if I want to come to church every Sunday although I’d love to nod my head at that time.
So I started to find some excuses just because I didn’t wanted to face my dad and “challenge” him. When I was talking, she suddenly told me: “Don’t care about all these things, do you want to attend church?” At that time I was thinking, if I really COULD not care about all these things, of course I wanted to come to church. But my mind and my heart were struggling. My heart told me: “Tell her you want to go to church, this is what you want, don’t you?” But my mind said: “Say no, don’t challenge your dad, you can’t disobey your dad!”
I was struggling and when I was considering how to answer her, my mouth suddenly opened and said: “Yes, I want to come to church.” I was so surprised because as I was still thinking how I was going to answer suddenly my mouth just opened on its own accord and said the answer in my heart. After that, she prayed for me and at that moment my tears just came down. My heart suddenly lightened too.
Of course, after the decision, my challenges started. Every week I had to tell my dad that I was going to church on Sunday. At first, my dad never said anything. After a few weeks that I went to church continuously, he felt something was not right. He started to realize my choice for religion. So he did something to show his discontentment.
He ignored me, didn’t talk to me, slammed the door…. I just prayed and pretended I didn’t see anything. Of course I did not feel good when he treated me like this, I was so sad because he always dotes on me but he actually did these things to show his disapproval and went against my wishes, which I wondered why.
And my mum gave me the answer. She said that I am his first daughter, so when my dad dies, he wants me to handle his funeral. That means if I am a Christian, I can’t do anything for his funeral when he leaves us. After listening to this, I felt very funny. Ya, funny. My dad actually thinks so far ahead. But I couldn’t do anything to change his thinking. I was determined on my decision so he just had to open one eye and close the other.
And I think he saw the changes in me after I started going to church- my results were getting better, I didn’t simply throw my temper like before, I was more obeying towards my parents and I could forgive people whoever that offended me. So he does not oppose whenever I go to church now. Praise the Lord!
I am so thankful to the Lord that He led me to Him. For after that, whenever I face something that I can’t solve by myself, I go through it by God’s grace. I can’t imagine what will happen if I didn’t know God at that period of time. Indeed God is the light of our path and our helper. We can always trust Him in every circumstance we face. I am glad that I am able to grow and be equipped in a church now.
The church is like a home, the brothers and sisters are like a big family, with God as our Father. We get along with each other very well although we are not blood relatives. There is love inside the church. Before joining the church, I didn’t know what the reason was that made the brothers and sisters in the church to trust and love each other, until I read the verses in John 15:12 and 1 John 4 :7-21. And there is a verse between that that touches me, which is “we love because he first loved us.” Indeed God is love, so whoever in Him can easily love because the love itself is within us.
This is my testimony of how I came to know the Lord. I want to ask prayers from brothers and sisters who read this. Please pray for my father, mother and sister that one day they can come to know our God and pray that God will open way for them to let them receive the salvation. To God be the glory. Thank you.
And for he whom is a non christian and reads this, I hope you are willing to come to know Jesus because He really loves you and desire for you to come and know him.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20
Are you willing to answer the Lord who is knocking your door?
May God bless you.
Comments»
I am encouraged by Xin Fang’s testimony. Like Xin Fang, if you are having difficulties coming to church…take heart! God is good. He will open out the red sea for you and most important, your life must also CHANGE! That’s what happen to Xin Fang, a changed life…that melted, touched and softened her father’s heart, amen.
wow! this is a wonderful testimony! i want to believe together with you that your parents will come to know Jesus in a very personal way. Xin Fang, remember that your life is your first sermon. When you continuosly do well in life, be the best daughter, you are silently preaching to them every day, and you are sowing seeds into their lives.
Well done sis!