Alive Because Of Jesus - by Amanda Maria May 9, 2008
Posted by Han in : Testimony , trackbackBefore I came to know Christ I used to hate life that I found every way to take it away. I was depressed and suicidal.
I gave up easily on everything including my dreams and God. I blamed God and myself for everything horrible that happened in my life. I used to look in the mirror and condemn the way I look. All I could see was ugliness.
The mirror was my worst enemy. I found religion boring and I hated to go to church that my mum had to force me. I always heard about this Jesus and his sacrifice but I never really knew who he was.
My brother started coming to share with me about this Christ but I thought I knew everything so I brushed him off. The truth was I didn’t want to hear about God because my mind was set that God hated me.
I was really lost in my own world. I cooped myself up at home and hated to go out. I didn’t want to go into the real world cause I was so insecure with who I was. I started getting anxiety attacks and insomnia after my mum’s death.
Slowly as I got out and begin working, life was going all the way down because stress had added to the problems. I felt useless because I couldn’t seem to do anything right and messed up in everything I tried.
I called my brother up one day and asked him if I could go to the church he is attending and I started attending the weekday bible studies but never went for Sunday services. One Sunday I felt like going to church and that Sunday something happened.
I started tearing during worship and as it was about to end Pastor came out and shared on Psalms 91:7 A thousand may fall and your side ten thousand to your right but none shall come near you, he gave an illustration, even if I were in a crowded place the Lord would surpass everyone just for me.
My stone heart broke apart and Jesus Love overtook me that I couldn’t stop crying. My life has completely changed since that day I love my life more than ever and I’m moving towards dreams.
The depressing songs of how much I hated my life, that I used to write have turned into Love songs for a Saviour. My anxiety attacks stopped with no more sleepless nights. I found out my purpose and destiny and it is the God who stood by me even when I couldn’t see.
He is faithful and Gracious. He will never fail us even when we fail him. My favourite bible verse is no surprise Psalm 91:7. It’s truly by his GRACE that I am alive. Jesus is my reason to live.
Comments»
God bless you Amanda for sharing your testimony of your acquaintance with Jesus! It’s truly inspiring to hear how God is working in other people’s lives, and I was able to truly feel the grace and compassion of Jesus in your story. I too have suffered lapses of depression and thoughts of suicide in my life, and what really saved me in the end was meeting Jesus. Just as you mentioned with Psalm 91:7, He is also my reason to live, and I am so glad that He has found you and shared His love with you. I truly feel that God is always looking after us no matter what, and I hope that you continue to be a light upon others to share Jesus’ love. God bless~