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The Marriage Vow September 3, 2007

Posted by Han in : Family and Children , trackback

If you are on the verge of separation and divorce, please read this article. I pray that God will give you insight and you can make a u-turn.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. Matthew 19:5-7

Some of us have been married for some time, maybe 3, 5 or 10 years. Most probably we have forgotten about our wedding day. It will be good if you can record the entire wedding ceremony and play it on the television once awhile. If you did not, it’s alright, please pause for a moment and do some mental flashback. I believe it will bring some good memories and rekindle your love towards your spouse again.

If you cannot remember anything, never mind, there are two things that I would like to remind you. First, the Declaration of Intent and second, the Exchange of Vows. What are these? Let me tell you:

Declaration of Intent

(Groom) ________, will you have this woman to be your wife; to live with her in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be husband to her as long as you both shall live?
(Groom) I do

(Bride) ________, will you have this woman to be your wife; to live with her in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be husband to her as long as you both shall live?
(Bride) I do

Exchange of Vows

I (Groom) _______ in the presence of God and these witnesses, take you (Bride) ______ to be my wife; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. I pledge you my faithfulness.

I (Bride) _______ in the presence of God and these witnesses, take you (Groom) ______ to be my husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. I pledge you my faithfulness.

The Declaration of Intent and Exchange of Vows are the two highlights in a wedding ceremony. The moment you say “I Do”, you can hear thunderous applause from the floor. It is so exciting. Those words are never to be taken loosely, lightly or cheaply. You declare it in the presence of many people, family members, relatives, brothers and sisters in church, angels and God. You declare it to the world.

Unfortunately, many often have forgotten about their vow. The moment their marriage hit the rock, they accuse and hurt one another verbally. Their beloved spouses whom they once chased crazily and promised the stars and the whole world have now become their enemy. It’s no longer my spouse, my beloved. It’s my spouse, my enemy. But how can that be?

Indeed, staying together is never easy. But didn’t you vow to love, to comfort, to honor, and to keep each other, in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live?

You say, “I can no longer tolerate my spouse’s behaviour and character anymore!”, but didn’t you mention to take your spouse to be your wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you both part and you also pledge your faithfulness to him/her?

It’s never easy for two persons with different character, behaviour, preference, liking and interest come together. During the initial period, we are very much “blinded” by the strong points of our spouse. However, after living together, all the bad behaviours pop up! Very discouraging and disappointing! But didn’t you regard him/her the best partner initially, made in heaven?

I know your problem is not as easy as ‘ABC’. If it is that easy, long time ago it will be solved! But is your PROBLEM bigger than GOD? Problem arises when God is no longer the head in the marriage.

A Cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

We become individualistic and selfish. We make unreasonable demand towards our spouse. God is no longer in control. Each walks in his/her own way. The order has been messed up. What order? It’s the order set by God in marriage and family.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

If you are on the verge of separation and divorce, I strongly urge you to reconsider. Allow God to come into your marriage. You need a miracle. You need God to rekindle your love again. You need God to change and work in your spouse’s life but more often God will work in yours first.

Don’t act harshly or be impulsive! Think about the consequences; consider your finances, children and your life.

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